To the couple who turned row G into whatever this is…

I’m walking down the aisle after the credits and there are full cucumbers scattered across the carpet, one half chewed, one smashed into the floor, seeds everywhere, and a sticky mess around it like the seats were part of your little setup. The employee is literally using tongs like it’s hazardous waste, and I’m standing there realizing this wasn’t an accident, this was planned.

You sat through a whole movie with produce in your lap, did whatever you were doing in the dark, then just left it there like the theater is your personal cleanup crew. People paid to sit in that row, not deal with leftovers from whatever weird side activity you decided to run mid show. And yeah, the smell didn’t help your case either.

So I went straight to the front and made it a problem. Asked for cameras, pointed out the exact row, told them they might want to start banning people who treat public spaces like this. If you’re bold enough to leave it behind in plain sight, don’t act shocked when someone decides you don’t get to come back.

Keep that behavior at home. The rest of us didn’t sign up for it. 

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