Joke 1: First Train Trip
Two blondes were taking their very first train trip to Toronto.
A vendor walked down the aisle selling bananas—something they’d never seen before.
Curious, each of them bought one.
The first blonde eagerly peeled her banana and took a big bite…
exactly as the train entered a tunnel.
A few seconds later, the train came out into the light.
She turned to her friend and said calmly,
“I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?” her friend asked.
“I took one bite,” she replied,
“and I went blind for half a minute.”
Joke 2: Proud Mothers
Three women were sitting together, bragging about their sons.
The first said,
“My son graduated top of his class at Oxford. He’s now a doctor making $250,000 a year in Chicago.”
The second said,
“My son graduated top of his class at Cambridge. He’s a lawyer, making half a million a year in Los Angeles.”
The third woman smiled and said,
“Well, my son never did well in school. He never went to university…
but now he makes one million pounds a year in London as a sports repairman.”
The other two women frowned.
“A sports repairman? What’s that?”
She replied,
“He fixes things—
you know… hockey games, football games, snooker games.”
Joke 3: Promoted to Montreal
Boss: “Congratulations! I’m promoting you to manage our Montreal office!”
Employee (disappointed): “But sir… there’s nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.”
Boss (angry): “I’ll have you know that my mother is from Montreal!”
The employee paused… then said quickly,
“No kidding? What hockey team did she play for?”
